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januariumTitle: The Mirror Cracked From Side to Side
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dora_the_nymph
Characters: Petunia/James
Genre: Angst
Words: 1217
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I am just a mere unpaid fanfic writer, it all belongs to JKR and whoever else she sold her soul to.
Warnings: None, that I can think of.
Summary: Petunia was never the perfect one, but she nearly won, once, and for her that was it all.
Notes: Written forbussaikko in xylodemon's The I Didn't Get To Go To TWH Ficlet-a-thon. She asked for Petunia with the prompt "The mirror cracked from side to side". I did what I could in the little time I had (as I wouldn't have gotten a chance to polish it after this before the deadline).
The Mirror Cracked From Side to Side
Looking in the mirror she realised her face was not how it used to be any more. It had aged, and beyond that it was old. Her hair had greyed when she had not been paying attention and her neck, once comparable to that of a swan, was corded in a way she should have been too young for.
Oh, I’ve heard about you. What are you doing here? Lily’s out.
Not that she had ever been beautiful, of course; that was Lily’s job. Petunia’s eyes had never enchanted people like that- she’d never enchanted anything. She had been stuck at home, while her sister went off to school, coming back with tales of perfect friends, and scruffy boys.
You can wait in the kitchen if you want, I’ll make us a cup of tea.
Petunia could hear Dudley and his friends come home and sit in front of the kitchen telly. It was her duty to go to them and prepare drinks and snacks. She was the one who had been left with those jobs and no special tricks to complete them.
Sorry, let me get that. Wait- there’s still a bit left.
Vernon would be home soon, and would be expecting dinner to be on the table when he did. Petunia was an excellent cook, of course. Even Lily had never managed to be that, with all those fancy tricks at her disposal. But that was not something she was supposed to be thinking about, it could bring no good.
How did that just happen? I don’t understand.
Of course, the plant probably needed watering, too. Lily had been good at that, but she never ceased her complaints. “Why can’t we plant Mandrakes? They're way better than stupid begonias! And if we actually do get a stupid lily I’ll scream!” She was very over-dramatic. Petunia could never fight her in that department.
Tell Lily and I’ll hex you!
Dudley’s friends were talking downstairs. They were ever such polite boys, not like that Harry who wouldn’t know gratitude if it groveled at his feet. She had allowed him to stay in her house, looking at her with those enchanting eyes and he could not even bring himself to say thank you.
If you leave now, we can pretend this never happened.
Even months later a noise from the electric fire made Vernon twitch and poor Dudley had squeaked when a child had stuck its tongue out at him in the street. It was all the boy’s fault. And he had the audacity to sit there, looking like hi- he did.
Please don’t leave.
It was all the fault of those green-eyed devils that she knew her life could have been different. If fate had simply twisted a bit to the side. When you die young the world will always know you to be good, so why would that deter her from wishing for that other life
?.
What does this mean?
She had tasted that life once. A moment of its sweetness and she had been hooked. But like any addict, the removal of the source does not remove the craving. She had been going cold turkey for so many years without any sign of improvement.
Why are you crying? You wanted that.
That mocking voice inside her head, eternally questioning made her have a flash of fury. She was rarely allowed fury when the boy was not around. She would not have been allowed fury if it had been known then, but the sound of the mirror as she broke it was covered by an explosion on the television downstairs. Besides, it did not break into tiny pieces, but cracked along the middle, like a procession. Like thunder.
Goodbye. See you at the wed- see you.
It was too much for Petunia to take, so many memories bombarding her at once. She had a lot of memories but none battled against her like these. They were truly only few, but far more vivid that a thousand nights with Vernon.
What are you doing here?
I don’t know.
Then you should leave.
I don’t want to.
But what if- oh.
You’re right. I should leave.
No.
What?
You can’t just do that.
Do what?
Kiss me like that and then decide to leave.
You said I should leave first.
Be quiet and come in.
Where should I leave my coat?
What, are you planning on staying for a long time?
Stop that. You invited me in.
I suppose so, but what about Vernon?
He won’t be back for hours, you know it.
We can’t know that for sure. Besides, what would he do, send the Dementors after me.
The what?
These… things… They take away all happiness and can steal your soul with a kiss.
That sounds very appropriate.
How depressing.
Anyway, why would anyone keep things like that around?
They’re useful, they guard the wizard prison.
You have a prison?
Yes, Azkaban.
Oh…I don’t even want to think about that. Kiss me.
Changed your mind then?
Don’t get too cocky, or I will make you leave.
No chance.
Mmmm.
Does that feel good?
Yes- you know it does.
Does it feel that good with Vernon?
What!
Don’t run away, it was just a question.
No, it was you mocking me.
I would never mock me.
Of course, and neither would that fool of a headmaster.
You’ve met Dumbledore?
He sent me a letter.
Oh. Right. Forget about that.
Oh, you think everything is that easy.
It is, come here.
So… does it feel that good with Lily?
It feels different.
What does that mean?
Exactly what I said.
What a ridiculous answer.
You didn’t even bother to answer me.
That’s because you know the answer.
What? That it only feels good with me?
Yes.
That he hurts you and it’s like he’s ripping you open?
Yes.
That you want me to fuck you again, like it should be done?
You know the answer, just do it.
No. Take me to your bedroom. I want to go on the bed where Vernon abuses the gift he doesn’t even know he’s got.
Stop that and come upstairs. But never try to be romantic to me again.
Petunia tore herself out of it again, leaving a part of herself there as usual, ripped out by the broken glass. It was time to clean up this mess, then go and cook dinner. If she did something fast maybe it would still be ready in time.
And the flowers could wait, she supposed. Or she could do them at night and hope Vernon had already fallen asleep by the time she got there. That would probably have a chance of working.
She could tell him the mirror had gone out of fashion, so she had gotten rid of it. She would not replace it; it would just be easier not to have a mirror. Reflections were dangerous and far too fragile. Vernon would not hear this part.
There were a lot of things Vernon would never hear, but maybe that would just be for the best. To know the truth can be a terrible burden, and sharing sometimes only increases that load. Didn’t they always say that ignorance is bliss?
Petunia was educated enough to know that that was true.
Fin
The summary is crap, if you have a better one please tell me, same with mistakes. And please tell me if I should just scrap the entire long flashback scene, as I think it may be crap.
Author:
dora_the_nymphCharacters: Petunia/James
Genre: Angst
Words: 1217
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I am just a mere unpaid fanfic writer, it all belongs to JKR and whoever else she sold her soul to.
Warnings: None, that I can think of.
Summary: Petunia was never the perfect one, but she nearly won, once, and for her that was it all.
Notes: Written for
bussaikko in xylodemon's The I Didn't Get To Go To TWH Ficlet-a-thon. She asked for Petunia with the prompt "The mirror cracked from side to side". I did what I could in the little time I had (as I wouldn't have gotten a chance to polish it after this before the deadline).The Mirror Cracked From Side to Side
Looking in the mirror she realised her face was not how it used to be any more. It had aged, and beyond that it was old. Her hair had greyed when she had not been paying attention and her neck, once comparable to that of a swan, was corded in a way she should have been too young for.
Oh, I’ve heard about you. What are you doing here? Lily’s out.
Not that she had ever been beautiful, of course; that was Lily’s job. Petunia’s eyes had never enchanted people like that- she’d never enchanted anything. She had been stuck at home, while her sister went off to school, coming back with tales of perfect friends, and scruffy boys.
You can wait in the kitchen if you want, I’ll make us a cup of tea.
Petunia could hear Dudley and his friends come home and sit in front of the kitchen telly. It was her duty to go to them and prepare drinks and snacks. She was the one who had been left with those jobs and no special tricks to complete them.
Sorry, let me get that. Wait- there’s still a bit left.
Vernon would be home soon, and would be expecting dinner to be on the table when he did. Petunia was an excellent cook, of course. Even Lily had never managed to be that, with all those fancy tricks at her disposal. But that was not something she was supposed to be thinking about, it could bring no good.
How did that just happen? I don’t understand.
Of course, the plant probably needed watering, too. Lily had been good at that, but she never ceased her complaints. “Why can’t we plant Mandrakes? They're way better than stupid begonias! And if we actually do get a stupid lily I’ll scream!” She was very over-dramatic. Petunia could never fight her in that department.
Tell Lily and I’ll hex you!
Dudley’s friends were talking downstairs. They were ever such polite boys, not like that Harry who wouldn’t know gratitude if it groveled at his feet. She had allowed him to stay in her house, looking at her with those enchanting eyes and he could not even bring himself to say thank you.
If you leave now, we can pretend this never happened.
Even months later a noise from the electric fire made Vernon twitch and poor Dudley had squeaked when a child had stuck its tongue out at him in the street. It was all the boy’s fault. And he had the audacity to sit there, looking like hi- he did.
Please don’t leave.
It was all the fault of those green-eyed devils that she knew her life could have been different. If fate had simply twisted a bit to the side. When you die young the world will always know you to be good, so why would that deter her from wishing for that other life
?.
What does this mean?
She had tasted that life once. A moment of its sweetness and she had been hooked. But like any addict, the removal of the source does not remove the craving. She had been going cold turkey for so many years without any sign of improvement.
Why are you crying? You wanted that.
That mocking voice inside her head, eternally questioning made her have a flash of fury. She was rarely allowed fury when the boy was not around. She would not have been allowed fury if it had been known then, but the sound of the mirror as she broke it was covered by an explosion on the television downstairs. Besides, it did not break into tiny pieces, but cracked along the middle, like a procession. Like thunder.
Goodbye. See you at the wed- see you.
It was too much for Petunia to take, so many memories bombarding her at once. She had a lot of memories but none battled against her like these. They were truly only few, but far more vivid that a thousand nights with Vernon.
What are you doing here?
I don’t know.
Then you should leave.
I don’t want to.
But what if- oh.
You’re right. I should leave.
No.
What?
You can’t just do that.
Do what?
Kiss me like that and then decide to leave.
You said I should leave first.
Be quiet and come in.
Where should I leave my coat?
What, are you planning on staying for a long time?
Stop that. You invited me in.
I suppose so, but what about Vernon?
He won’t be back for hours, you know it.
We can’t know that for sure. Besides, what would he do, send the Dementors after me.
The what?
These… things… They take away all happiness and can steal your soul with a kiss.
That sounds very appropriate.
How depressing.
Anyway, why would anyone keep things like that around?
They’re useful, they guard the wizard prison.
You have a prison?
Yes, Azkaban.
Oh…I don’t even want to think about that. Kiss me.
Changed your mind then?
Don’t get too cocky, or I will make you leave.
No chance.
Mmmm.
Does that feel good?
Yes- you know it does.
Does it feel that good with Vernon?
What!
Don’t run away, it was just a question.
No, it was you mocking me.
I would never mock me.
Of course, and neither would that fool of a headmaster.
You’ve met Dumbledore?
He sent me a letter.
Oh. Right. Forget about that.
Oh, you think everything is that easy.
It is, come here.
So… does it feel that good with Lily?
It feels different.
What does that mean?
Exactly what I said.
What a ridiculous answer.
You didn’t even bother to answer me.
That’s because you know the answer.
What? That it only feels good with me?
Yes.
That he hurts you and it’s like he’s ripping you open?
Yes.
That you want me to fuck you again, like it should be done?
You know the answer, just do it.
No. Take me to your bedroom. I want to go on the bed where Vernon abuses the gift he doesn’t even know he’s got.
Stop that and come upstairs. But never try to be romantic to me again.
Petunia tore herself out of it again, leaving a part of herself there as usual, ripped out by the broken glass. It was time to clean up this mess, then go and cook dinner. If she did something fast maybe it would still be ready in time.
And the flowers could wait, she supposed. Or she could do them at night and hope Vernon had already fallen asleep by the time she got there. That would probably have a chance of working.
She could tell him the mirror had gone out of fashion, so she had gotten rid of it. She would not replace it; it would just be easier not to have a mirror. Reflections were dangerous and far too fragile. Vernon would not hear this part.
There were a lot of things Vernon would never hear, but maybe that would just be for the best. To know the truth can be a terrible burden, and sharing sometimes only increases that load. Didn’t they always say that ignorance is bliss?
Petunia was educated enough to know that that was true.
Fin
The summary is crap, if you have a better one please tell me, same with mistakes. And please tell me if I should just scrap the entire long flashback scene, as I think it may be crap.
